October uhn? October has been a rollercoaster. Rollercoaster isn’t even the word, this rollercoaster is faulty, it just stays down. I feel like I’m in this headspace I was years back. I hate it. It kills me.
Not sure I’ve found a way out yet, still working on it. Not sure I look forward to what the process would look like and the remaining parts of whatever this is. But I guess the only way through, is through. I’m talking in parables uhn?
As I try to navigate whatever this is, I remembered the poem I held on to back then. For the meantime that’s what’s going to be my candle pending when this is over…
Here it goes:
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell.
As you ring, what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
Let This Darkness Be A Bell Tower —
To any other quiet friend out there, see you in my next entry.