I think I’m forgetting what it should be like to be a friend… I mean a friend to me. I’m becoming too harsh on myself. Would I do that to a friend?, would I tell Fiyin that she is not doing enough and she should give up. Would I look at my brother when he wants my advice on how to be better at Maths and I yell back at him, ‘You’re not just doing enough!, you’re not just smart, you’re the problem!’….so why am I doing that to myself????!
I’m a person too, and sometimes I get carried away, I forget my individuality as I approach life. I forget I’m one to also take care of myself. I am to treat myself as I would treat a friend. As I wrestled with the toxic relationship I’ve been having with myself lately, I went back to my journal entry in… I wish I wrote the date, let me check again…the last date before that entry was Friday, 16th of June,2023…so let’s assume that was the date. Back to where I was…
That entry was an excerpt from the book wrote - . The second rule stated “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping”. This is true and here is what he had to say.
It seems that people often don’t really believe that they deserve the best care, personally speaking.
They are excruciatingly aware of their own faults and inadequacies, real and exaggerated, and ashamed and doubtful of their own value. They believe that other people shouldn’t suffer and they will work diligently and altruistically to help them alleviate it. They extend the same courtesy even to the animals they are acquainted with — but not so easily to themselves.
His book was really philosophical, I enjoyed reading a lot of philosophical things back then. It was a phase. What he said here really stood out to me. I would rather talk to my friend carefully and treat myself like a piece of trash. Why so mean?
Did you relapse?, did you backslide? treating yourself as someone you are responsible for helping means embracing and loving the sinner who is yourself, as much as forgiving and aiding someone else who is stumbling and imperfect.
It’s September, Suicide Prevention Awareness Month…here’s the point I’m driving at; when you mistreat yourself you can have catastrophic consequence for others. Take a look at the aftermath of suicide, it leaves those left behind bereaved and traumatized. Haba, Emmanuella suicide is too far…maybe it looks like it, but my point is you should really be treating yourself like you are deserving of love, because you really are.
So here’s what I and Jordan Peterson have concluded on:
- You are important to other people, as much as to yourself.
- You have a vital role to play in the unfolding of the destiny of the world.
- You are therefore morally obliged to take care of yourself.
- You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you love and value.
- You may therefore have to conduct yourself habitually in a manner that allows you some respect for your own being — and fair enough.
But every person is deeply flawed…
I’ve said all these, now is time to take my own advice…
Bye for now and see you in my next entry….
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